Storm and Stress
Collected poems & lyrics
***
Stars
The stars
Oh the stars, the stars.
Everybody wants to reach the stars,
Nobody wants to climb.
Well what if I promise
Never to ask for a ring?
Suppose I could settle for pop songs;
A big band love without any bling.
Keep me in furious secrets of things you’ve seen.
Tattoos and trees,
Bombs and tribes,
A heady riot of false limbs and bitchy wives.
I’m hardly fooling darling.
I’d wear a string of solid gold hits and snow monkeys
I’d lock your memories safe inside.
I don’t need diamonds to feel you care.
Just swap me 3 babies
For 5 Mars bars
And we’ll be square
...So long as they have your eyes,
Your head,
Your heart,
Your light brown hair.
‘Cause you are the perfect find.
So what you do say my Peshawar,
Will you follow your stars from India
Or will you meet me?
Anywhere.
It’s no big thing.
I only want to see your face
And say your name,
Go dancing,
Hear your accent when you sing.
Thinking maybe we should start a 10, 000 night fling?
Manchester
Let’s move to Manchester where the thieves are cool
You'll train divers and I’ll paint faces at nursery school
We won’t wash our clothes much, or worry about the rent
Just chill on rooftops and remember times we’ve spent
There’s pigeons there aplenty and alley cats too
No need for fancy clocks or trips to the zoo
Yeah, let’s move to Manchester where the thieves are cool
I’d so like to watch you, working at the pool
Footballers and chavs might soon drive us mad
But you’ll take their legs off if it gets really bad
Meet me at the Cathedral across the River Irwell
Or Marks & Spencer’s where I hear the guns are swell
If the town gets too rough we’ll simply ride the rails
I think there’s cool people still living down in Wales
Yeah, let’s move to Manchester where the thieves are cool
It rains a lot babe, but I’ll have you.
Quiet Nights
I’d like to spend quiet nights alone with you
Somewhere where they have no phone,
Listening to heartbeats on low
Somewhere where rituals remain,
Sipping tea from china cups
I'd like to spend quiet nights alone with you
Somewhere where the taps still flow,
Pouring bourbon in the bath
Somewhere where the planes are down,
Tracing silhouettes along your spine
I'd like to spend quiet nights alone with you
So stop your world travels and follow the line
Trade in your passport and make some time
‘Cause while you’re off climbing the great wall
I’m home watching the snowfall
And it’s so peaceful
Leaves me thinking of quiet nights, alone, with you
And you’re so far away
And there’s little that postcards can say
Witty lines are too much trouble
Come find my funny bone
Take a fast jet honey,
Get here on the double
I will give you
Quiet nights.
Kimono
Oh Kimono,
Oh oh Kimono
Pretty Asian girls
All wrapped in silk
With soft sable hair,
And skin like honey milk
Pretty Asian girls
Winking smiles
And flashing eyes -
I know,
I know how they get to guys
Oh Kimono,
Oh oh Kimono
Pretty Asian girls with tiny feet
They look dainty even when the eat
They wear chopsticks in their hair
God damn,
It’s just not fair
Little Kyoto, Tokyo, Tianenman Square
Pretty Asian girls,
They’re everywhere
Oh Kimono,
Oh oh Kimono
And there you are
And there you go....
And there you are
And there you go....
Will it be a stewardess?
A mountaineer?
The lady from Shanghai?
There’s no denying possibilities,
Why even try?
Oh Kimono,
Oh oh Kimono
Oh Kimono
Oh oh Kimono
Pretty Asian girls
They’ve got it all
Shinto, Wabi-sabi
And feet so small
Oh Kimono,
Oh oh Kimono
Who am I kidding?
It’s Hello Kitty,
Goodbye love
I’m getting ready,
Ready for a fall
Oh Kimono,
Oh oh Kimono
Oh Kimono
Oh oh Kimono,
Please don’t fall for your tour guide Philip.
Calendar of Hearts
November 28th
Our first date.
I say you’re funny.
Then I wait.
November 29th
You reply.
Still funny. Welsh. And sweet.
Already, I’m thinking, hmm -
Maybe we should meet?
Early December
We talk about work and stuff.
You design limbs; you dodge bombs,
That sounds rough.
I begin to worry I’m not good enough.
My mom assures me -
She says I'm a different kind of tough.
December 23rd
Holding steady.
I check your picture:
Profile down.
What the betty??
December 25th
Christmas morning wishes. God bless.
Now I'm really a mess.
December 28th
A month to the day.
I’m writing songs and counting stars
Sure signs of sickness,
Should put myself behind bars.
December 31st
New Years Eve.
No word. No midnight kiss.
Where are you?
I’ve been waiting
Forever.
Kicks
Game up,
Polish your gun
This is bloodsport
So let’s have fun.
Begin Round 1
Jabs and laughs
And talking daffodils,
Well I won't have it:
I’m here to kill.
Suffer Round 2
I will bring you to your knees
Make you beg me,
Please girl, please.
Submit Round 3
I will kick you smack-dab in the head
Feast on holy Red Cross blood,
Then drag your sorry ass to bed.
Scratch Round 4
I will claw you where it hurts
With brains and teeth and painted nails,
Scar your face and shred your shirts;
Who cares if you’re from fucking Wales?
Half-Time
Have we had enough my foe?
Better rest a while -
I play for kicks.
The Aries Man
Ladies, Beware! The Aries Man
He’s hard to catch
No matter the match,
How pretty a face,
Sparkling manners or grace,
You just can’t win;
The Ram was born to chase.
So if you’re a fan
Of the Aries clan
Heed these words:
Aries' girl wears short skirts
And knows how to flirt
But she never throws fits.
Hint:
He prefers a girl with apple tits,
A lass jockey to battle his wits.
The Aries’ shine
Is for the homey kind.
His girl polishes cleats,
Spring cleans the sheets,
Absolutely never cheats;
Accomplishes her own feats.
It’s a tall order.
And remember ladies
He’s an Alpha male,
So don’t let things grow stale.
Aries likes it angry
And in the pool hall,
Stockings & all...
Maybe try the forest floor:
Be anything but a bore!
Trust me,
You must, you must:
Have a brain,
Cause him a little pain,
Feist drives the Ram insane;
Just don’t expect to beat him at his game.
Yes, Aries is a fire,
A real live wire.
But he’s easy to punish:
Make him move slow,
Cut up his passport -
Ha ha, nowhere to go!
Tend to his left earlobe...
Banish the globe.
It’s a long long list
And there's much I have missed,
Please be careful ladies, and consider this:
Aries’ sign-mate is Marlon Brando.
Cardinal movie tough guy,
Rebel star with a roving eye.
Sigh.
Take solace in his style.
If the Ram doesn’t fancy you,
He’ll say it plain:
Honey, you ain’t my kind of dame.
That’s how it goes in the Zodiac
So make your best plan of attack
If all else fails:
Ask him if he wants some coffee?
Top 10
Top 10 things I hate about you:
1) you never call.
2) you sent me that Rufus album and made me crazy, over Christmas.
3) you're funny.
4) you're killing me.
5) you're distracting and could very well get me fired.
6) I think you might look like Robbie Robertson/last waltz through the eyes and smile.
7) then I will die for sure.
8) you are a stupid, stupid boy.
9) I am a child.
10) I think I might love your dad.
House of Pancakes
Tell me darling,
What it takes to reel you in?
Steady rounds of slow strip gin?
Sunday morning pancakes, extra thin?
Trips to places you’ve never been?
Teach me darling,
How to spin new romance
And tame a horse
half a world away.
She Wooed Him In Welsh
and it wasn't enough.
Across the sea a girl slaved to slay a boy’s môr-ladron heart
and tease his secsi mwnci brain, among other rhannau corff.
Serch hynny,
the boy remained a blaidd in trowsus
as the girl grew wedi blino dw i and glas.
The whole affair, a simple anifeiliaid case of:
‘dwin caru ti mwy.’